Things have been on the up since the summer holidays, as H is now happy to be heard speaking, if only in English. He also used a Swedish word in front of someone he believed could not speak it (Danish is a bit different). Then he’s begun to whisper words in both English and Swedish into my ear for me to pass the message on to anyone outside the close family (mainly at nursery). The Health visitor 4 year check was a tad frustrating as I had forgotten to pre warn her about his ‘problem’ and she seemed a bit confused if he could understand language as he wouldn’t speak, or thought it was due to initial shyness. I had to be firm to say I’d talk to her afterwards (out of H’s earshot) as I know he’s v aware. Anyhow, now she has got the psychologist to ring me, and I have an appointment next week, without H. I don’t know how helpful it’ll be. We saw her for S’s behavioural probs when he was 5, and it all I can remember taking away from it was to hold him tight if he got too excited !
Despite my exhaustion due to the change of schedule of Ramadhan I felt I should write something today about H. I'd been neglecting to include this situation in my du'as until fairly recently. I feel I sometimes forget to ask for khair in this life concentrating more on akhirah, forgiveness etc. I forget that Allah wants us to ask things of Him, including this present world.
It was truly a significant improvement, and I have had to contain my joy from my boy as I do not want it to make him take a step back. Even when I swore S to secrecy , S said why wouldn’t it actually make him continue to talk if you praise him? but no, I’ve read and seen for myself that highlighting the fact he’s talked makes them more self-aware and thus reduces speaking.
Today was the 2nd home visit we’ve had from his nursery teacher and 2 friends. The first time they came he would whisper what he wanted to say to them via my ear and I told them what he’d said. Today it started well as he eagerly shouted ‘Hej!’ (Hello) down the intercom when they rang the doorbell. His teacher couldn’t believe it was him. It must be so strange to have known someone for a while and never heard them speak. Then they played the Duplo board game that involves doing simple maths, which H loves. (The other day he was asking for most of the car journey home from dropping off his brothers, various sums, getting harder and harder. This was quite a strain for my fasting brain, and I did consider just saying random answers as he wouldn’t know anyway? But I gave them my best shot!).
Firstly he would give the answer with his fingers, and then moved on to saying the first sound of the number (in Swedish). The I wandered off to get on with some housework. I paused for a second to think, this would be nice, having a nanny for the children so I could actually finish stuff, without being interrupted every 2 minutes to answer some interesting, but brain stretching question. Anyway back to the game and H. By the time they’d finished and I’d set off dishwasher and washing machine (small things like that do satisfy me) H had obviously being stretching his teacher’s mathematical ability and was now able to tell me the answer to a sum like 11 plus 8, in Swedish, in front of his teacher!! She then continued to ask him various questions involving numbers as answers (I was thinking isn’t he going to buckle under the pressure) and he , as clear as a bell, said the Swedish number including the infamous sound(in Sweden anyway ) in the word for seven (sju) (the sj sound is meant to be hard to say and some end up saying ‘sh’ but its more like ‘kh- wh’. Them he decided to show her his DVDs and named the characters, and then went on to say a sentence in Swedish which I can’t for the life of me remember what it was (I was still in shock). I could see his friend had cottoned on that now H was able to talk and his friend then tried to interact more and talk to him. The special needs teacher had said that may be the children would make a big fuss when he finally spoke, but the reaction the boy had seemed natural and didn’t cause h to notice I think.
But he didn’t want to go back with them to nursery and so this showed how his speaking is a clear barometer of his stress levels. He didn’t want to talk to his teacher or friends on the way down. I really needed to sleep and did feel guilty forcing him to go (although he’s usually happy while he’s there and when I pick him up)
Then later when I picked him up, whilst I was helping him get ready to go home , in the presence of several other kids, parents and one teacher in the changing room he said to one girl in his class ‘glass’ which means ice cream. (His reward (or bribe, I’m guilty as charged) for letting me have a sleep, although it was mostly, unbeknown to him, for being so brave and speaking to his teacher and friends).
To top it all, on the way back from picking M from English class H decided to, v loudly, say a Swedish swear-word in combination with a slightly more innocent English rude word, just for the sake of it, in front of our neighbours teenage daughter. I then felt compelled to say ‘Don’t say that they understand that word!’